Oct 21, 2021
We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate
about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to
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There is nothing more exciting to me than the intersection of
transformation and adventure. This is why I founded Restoration
Counseling - a place where we daily engage the power of restoration
and epic re-storying. As a Licensed Professional Counselor, I
specialize in men and masculinity, sexual addiction, trauma and
abuse. My experience as a men’s therapist and my work with men at
Restoration Project provide me a wealth of experience when
navigating the landscape of a man’s heart.
As I work with clients, my focus is on discovering and “reading”
the narrative of their lives and guiding them toward the
transformation that comes through adventurously and honestly
engaging our sorrows AND our glories. This, to me, is what I was
Episode 200 Party:
- Tuesday, January 9th from 8-10pm we are gathering 200
dadAWESOME friends for a couple hours of fun. Spikeball, Cornhole,
Music, dadAWESOME Giveaways, Food Trucks and some
Vision/Mission/Hopes for what's next.
- We're hosting this party in NE Minneapolis at Ninth Street
Soccer and Coffee: 801 SE 9th St, Minneapolis, MN 55414
- Here's the RSVP Form: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26
a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS
- Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26
- Text “DAD” to
651-370-8618 to join the dadAWESOME Nudge to become an
- 6:58 -Parallels from a Rafting Guide to a
- 7:02 - "It's our first time down this river when
we're fathering our kids and it's not our first time down the
- 07:14 - "We can still guide our children down
the river that we've never been down before because we've been down
- 7:46 - "What I've experienced in the past, my
kids won't experience, but they may experience something similar.
And that just gives me the freedom to kind of journey down a river
and see what comes."
- 9:02 - "we became the men that we are today
because of the men that were with us before and the guidance of the
men that we had or the lack of guidance of the men that we didn't
have, that that's so impactful for who we became."
- 9:16 - "the most important person in our lives
as far as men goes is our dad. If he was there or if he wasn't
there, that's important. And there's a shaping that happens inside
of us in his presence, his intentionality, his wisdom, his
guidance, just like we were talking about with the raft. All of
those things are super important for how we've navigated
- 9:47 - "There are two ways I think that fathers
bring destruction into their children's lives. It's either in their
absence or in their violence and in his presence, He brings life
and he brings words and, you know, attention and affection and
intention. But when those you know, whether it's violence or
there's absence, there's going to be something significantly kind
of shaping in the life in our lives. And the fact is that all of us
have that to some degree, because we don't live, we don't live in
the Garden of Eden.
- 10:22 - "all of us have some level of wounding
and pain that we've experienced, and therefore we bring that in. So
in order for us to be the kinds of dads that we want to be that are
dadAWESOME dads, right, that it's not that we muster something up,
it's more that we need to read our story and it's more that we need
to read our story of where have we come from?"
- 10:45 - Kurt Thompson says, "the number one
variable for children to grow up with the ability to connect in a
secure way in relationships, the number one variable for that to
happen is the parents investigation of their story" their own
- 12:30 - TEDx talk from Chris Bruno about his
- 14:02 - "There is something beautiful in my
parents that just decided we're not going that route. (Special
Needs Sister) We're not going that route and we're actually going
to keep her at home and we're going to find ways to love on this
child and bring her up in the context of our own home."
- 15:24 - "My horse died and there was something
about that experience where I was in the house watching the vet
with with the horse outside, they were outside in the corral and I
watched my horse collapse and it was in that moment that something
inside of me collapsed as well. And I couldn't do anything. I
couldn't get out to the horse. My parents had said, Don't go out
there, and I was 13 years old."
- 15:52 - "something inside of me collapsed. And I
remember distinctly kind of making a vow inside of my own soul this
little 13 year old boy vow of I'm not going to give my heart to
another like that again because he had become my companion..."
- 16:22 - "...And that collapsed inside of me is
actually something that I have had to work on pretty hard to to
trust God for to move into, to explore my own story so that I can
then be present, not collapsed, but present to my wife and to my
- 17:29 - There was something inside of me that
shut down and closed off, walled off, pulled away. And it was
almost like I felt myself just, you know, pull into myself. And it
wasn't like I was going to offer that part of myself to someone
else again, because it was far better to be distant than
- 19:35 - big T traumas and little t traumas
- 20:16 - "It's the little tiny traumas that also
need someone to come alongside of you and help you process."
- 20:25 - "we are heaps of undigested experience
where heaps of undigested experience and and if we have it, just
think about indigestion. When you have indigestion, there's
something unwell about your body. And so if there's undigested
experience, there's something unwell about your soul and we need
someone to come alongside of us and to be with us and partner with
us and and talk through those things with us to digest the
experience so that in that moment, we can make meaning in a way
that that won't be a traumatic meaning. It won't be one of those
collapsed or vows or walled off moments in a life.
- 21:08 - "If a parent walked back into the
house... if I had a mom or a dad, come back to me and sat with me
on my bed and let me cry it out and and listen to me and share it
with me and empathize with me and all that. I probably wouldn't
have walled off maybe a little bit, but not as not to the degree
that I did.
- 21:38 - "What makes a trauma is the is the
actual event causing the trauma. But what makes it a kind of an
overwhelming, ah, traumatic ah, tragedy over a lifetime is that
there is no one to process or digest experience with you."
- 22:28 - We were never meant to parent alone. And
I think there's something that we can learn from our international
brothers and sisters who who are in communities of of a lot more
tight knit, a lot more connectedness than we are in America.
- 23:39 - "We are our best father when we have our
best brothers with us. And so we need those guys and those are the
guys that you came in and went rafting with, you know, with me...
Those are those guys in my life and we need our brothers. But then
also sometimes we need someone else who's on the outside who's got
some training is a professional in some ways to come along side to
create a safe space for a child to unfold.
- 24:25 - "I don't know about you, Jeff, but my
kids trigger the heck out of me. They trigger the story in me to
know degree. Like there is there, there are only a few people who
trigger me. So significantly it is my wife and it's my kids."
- 24:53 - "I can't actually be as available to my
kids as I want to be. And so I need help. I need someone to come
alongside of me. And there have been people in my kids lives that
have been there for them in some really hard places. Mentors,
counselors, coaches, teachers, my friends who have taken them under
their wing for a season. It's so, so important for for people to
make that available to their kids."
- 26:04 - "our friendships that are kids can
benefit from. First, have to be friendships that we benefit
- 26:22 - "we need to move from buddy and to
brother and and to go from buddy to brother requires the two of you
men or the three of you, the five of human to be willing to engage
those parts of your lives and your stories that we've been talking
- 26:39 - "those men know my story and they have
offered their compassion. They've offered their empathy. They've
offered their question, their curiosity. And they've also and
they've also when they see me walling off. Now, they know where the
story comes from and they're able to not like, hit me upside the
head with a two-by-four, but more so. Gently come alongside of me
and asked me the question, is this what you would like to do right
- Episode 200 Party: https://forms.gle/R3ApseRfsX49Kuk26