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May 5, 2022

“Human beings were not meant to live in isolation and we weren’t meant to live in a constant unknown. Learning to let it go (benevolent detachment)… is step one.”



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John Eldredge

John Eldredge is an author, a counselor, and a teacher. He is also president of Ransomed Heart, a ministry devoted to helping people discover the heart of God, recover their own hearts in God’s love, and learn to live in God’s Kingdom. John and Stasi live in Colorado Springs and he loves the outdoors passionately. His most recent book, Take Your Life Back provides a refreshingly simple guide to recover your life. By practicing a few wonder­fully simple practices—or what John calls “graces”—you can begin to recover your soul, disentangle from the tragedies of this broken world, and discover the restorative power of beauty.

Ministry Shout Out!

  • Morgan Snyder -
  • Become Good Soil
  • BECOMING A KING - Morgan Snyder’s Becoming a King speaks unabashedly to men, teaching them the life-changing truth about the power that God intends for them to responsibly step into for his Kingdom, while also giving women an honest peek behind the curtain into the lives and hearts of the men they know and love.
  • Podcast

Conversation Notes

  • 5:57 – Most recent book: Get your Life Back by John Eldredge –
  • 6:30 –  “I had no idea how fast I was running and how little margin I had in my life.”
  • 6:56 – There has been a war for our attention that has kept us from giving our attention to our loved ones.
  • 8:00 – “I was noticing assault on us by the world was robbing us of the ability to be present… to anything.”
  • 8:54 – Coaching tips for moving into the lifestyle of learning to nourish our souls.
  • 9:37 – The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains by Nicholas Carr
  • 11:44 – One Minute Pause App by John Eldredge – A simple mindfulness app (
  • 13:00 – 1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your cares upon him because he cares for you.
  • 13:15 – “Human beings were not meant to live in isolation and we weren’t meant to live in a constant unknown. Learning to let it go (benevolent detachment)… is step one.”
  • 15:15 – Steps to the App:  1) Release. Let it go. 2) Heal our union with God. Our soul is meant to be united with God. It’s been assaulted by fear and chaos. 3) Fill me with you, God.
  • 17:27 – Prov 4:23 – Above everything guard your heart because out of your heart flows the wellspring of life. ….. “How your heart’s doing affects everything else in your life. If your heart’s not doing well, you don’t love very well, if your heart’s not doing well you don’t have a lot of dreams. It is the epicenter.”
  • 18:38 – “We are reaping the fruit of a lot of human brokenness generationally….Many kids are growing up either without a dad present, or without a present dad. He might be taken home, but he’s so taken out himself.”
  • 18:58 – Carl Jung – “The greatest psychological impact of a parent on a child is the unlived life of the parent….. If you’re taken out, it’s really hard to chase after the hearts of your kids.”
  • 19:27 – Parent for behavior vs. Parent for the heart
  • 19:51 – “I am in a world at war. The fight is for the heart. Not only mine but everybody else’s.”
  • 20:15 – Fathered by God by John Eldredge
  • 20:42 – Gender identity is bestowed by the father.
  • 21:09 – Both the little boy and little girl look to the father to answer their core questions. Boys – Do I have what it takes? Girls – Do you delight in me? Will anyone fight for me?
  • 21: 30 – “God steps in to say, ‘Look, I can still Father you. I can take you on the journey of maturation. You need to know you’re a beloved son, you need to know that you’re a delighted daughter first.’”
  • 22:45 – God takes us through stages to the place where he can entrust us with kingdoms and influence (a family, education, money, etc). Guys blow up their world because inside they stay in adolescence.
  • 23:48 – John Eldredge podcast –  Ransomed heart podcast
  • 25:20 – Listening prayer – asking God to Father us in the live moments – “what do I do with this? Help me.”
  • 25:53 – A story of a painful moment in parenting. Maintain communication – don’t sever lines of communication. You won’t get a lot solved in this moment, but you could do a lot of damage.
  • 26:41 – God rescues in the live moment
  • 27:05 – How can we move toward hearing God’s voice in that moment? Know that you can (hear his voice).
    • John 10 – My sheep hear my voice.
    • Heb 3 – Today if you hear his voice
    • Rev 3 – Behold I stand at the door and knock, if anyone hears my voice….
  • 28:15 – Don’t try to hear the voice of God for the first time when it’s high drama. Start with really small questions when your heart is quiet.
  • 30:00 – If your inner life is locked up, and shut down in fear and hurt, it is harder to hear. God is super merciful and he’ll speak anyways, but the [it will be more clear the] more that we can cultivate the care of the heart and healing of things that need healing in us.
  • 30:54 –  “If your soul is dried out like the desert, God is trying to give you himself, he’s trying to pour out the love, the mercy, the words, but when the rain storms come in the desert, it can’t receive the rain because it’s just so baked.”
  • 31:49 – “As you begin to unplug from technology and as you begin to recover an actual human life back, you will find it easier to hear from God.”
  • 32:34 – “One of the keys to life is this: The way you treat your own heart is the way you will end up treating everyone else’s.”
  • 32:55 – “If you are a perfectionist, your kids will feel the pressure to be perfect. If you are a person who wrestles with shame, they are going to experience that shame.”
  • 33:31 – A dad fail.
  • 35:30 – What you would tell your younger self – “You boys need to know you love them, and make that your top priority. You’re going to mess it up, everybody does…but love heals……If your kids know “My dad adores me” then a lot of the failure stuff kind of bounces off. It really does.”
  • 37:15 – Prayer for our families – dadAWESOME Episode 102
  • 37:36 – John Eldredge final prayer over fathers.


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