Feb 11, 2021
dadAWESOME
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Phil Comer
After raising four kids who are all walking with Jesus, Phil & Diane were commissioned by the elders with the task of teaching parents how to raise passionate Jesus followers. Phil Comer, with assistance from his wife Diane and his son, John Mark, was the founding pastor of Westside: A Jesus Church, a large and vibrant church that welcomes millennials in Portland, Oregon. After handing the lead role over to his son, he and Diane launched Intentional: Raising Passionate Jesus Followers conferences as a way of teaching and training the hundreds of young parents in their church who were now raising families of their own. With his 40 years of pastoral experience and counseling, and lessons learned through his own parenting, he and Diane are bringing parents hope and practical help to accomplish their God-given task of raising children who will walk with God in vibrant faith.
Brook Mosser
Brook and Elizabeth Mosser help lead the Intentional Parent’s ministry with Phil and Diane as well as serve at Riverbend Church in Bend. Elizabeth is Phil and Diane’s daughter, which makes Brook their son in law, which means they are all family learning to do this thing called life and relationships together. They live in Bend, OR with their four children Duke (9), Scarlet (7), Birdie (3), and Sloane (1). Brook and Elizabeth are passionate about seeing their own four kids become all in disciples of Jesus and helping other’s do the same.
Video of this Conversation:
Show Notes:
- 2:50 - Raising Passionate Jesus Followers book
- 3:00 - Disproportionate relationships
- 4:45 - Phil's father's day message "Fathering Like a Father" YouTube Link
- 5:14 - Jeff asked Phil to speak life over Brook
- 5:33 - John 1 - Jesus was full of grace AND truth
- 8:12 - What does it mean to have a generational vision?
- 10:41 - "And I think sometimes we need to remember that what we're doing with our kids is of eternal value. We're affecting their eternity and even generations to come." - Phil Comer on having a generational vision
- 11:17 - Jeff asks Brook about the concept of "Default Settings" in parenting
- 13:39 - Praying over the emotional wounds we've caused our kids
- 13:50 - Praying "God, would you just shield them from the worst parts of me?"
- 14:11 - Being aware of where your weaknesses impact your family.
- 15:36 - Discussing the importance of seeing the big picture and not focusing only on individual moments. Phil and Brook run an organization called "Intentional Parents"
- 17:22 - "Anything lasting, anything of eternal value, anything of substance, we can't do without Him. But as far as the big picture....we parent out of relationship - our relationship with God and our relationship with our kids and life, it's a rhythm, and God designed it that way."
- 18:58 - You parent in relationships
- 19:33 - How to set your own family culture - have a macro vision. "What do we want to put into the world? What do we want to be known for?"
- 21:38 - What does it mean to "raise passionate Jesus Followers?"
- 21:56 - "Trying to raise kids that operate in a different kingdom all together."
- 22:50 - Analyzing scenes from movies to point out the lies people are believing.
- 23:41 - "So I think as far as raising passionate Jesus followers - it's every single moment is Deuteronomy 6. When you wake up, when you lie down, when you go along the road, you're talking about Jesus, you're doing it yourself. You're not asking your kids to beat something that you're not beating yourself. And it's raising kids that really know and love Jesus."
- 24:35 - Phil talks about when dads realize that it's a partnership with their wives, realizing kids are a gift from God, and their job as a dad is important - that's the lightbulb moment for dads at their conferences.
- Phil quoting his son, John Mark Comer, "Pretty much every problem in the world goes back to fathers not doing what they were called to do and not walking with the Father the way supposed to."
- 27:00 - "Cause I think everyone has father wounds in one way or another. Right? And you're never going to be a perfect dad, but you can be a thoughtful, intentional dad. And we're intentional about so many things in our lives. So as a dad, you can be intentional about your exercise, your hobbies, your work, your relationship with your wife, but oftentimes it doesn't usually trickle down to your kids, you know, by and large. And so I think if you can catch that vision to recognize like that is equally, if not more important than all those other things mentioned in the sense of work or hobbies or whatever, you will never regret it." - Brook
- 29:10 - Brook discussing how there is a process for you and your kids - there are phases
- 31:03 - Spiritual parenting - the most important thing you do is to teach your kid to walk with the Lord.
- 31:30 - The Foundation Years - the first 5 years
- 32:04 - The Framing Years - Elementary
- 32:18 - The Functional Systems - Teen years
- 32:44 - The Finishing Work - 18-22yrs
- 33:19 - The concept of the box from the book "Raising Passionate Jesus Followers" - Jesus is the foundation, then there is discipline, encouragement, the rod of correction, order. The top is affection, affirmation and fun.
- 36:15 - The most powerful parenting position is "with-ness"
- 37:37 - the greatest gift you can ever give your kids after leading him to Jesus is the gift of a good marriage.
- 38:20 - Phil's last word - "Tenderness" - 1 Peter 3 says, "You, in turn, must treat your wives with tenderness, viewing them as feminine partners who deserve to be honored, for they are co-heirs with you of the divine grace of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."
- 39:26 - "So I just feel like the way we treat our wives, especially in front of our kids is of massive importance. You're teaching your sons how to treat their future wives."
Conversation Links:
- Raising Passionate Jesus Followers: The Power of Intentional Parenting by Phil & Diane Comer
- Intentional Parents - https://www.intentionalparents.org/
- Intentional Parents Podcast:
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