Jan 13, 2022
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Matt and his wife, Robin, have been leading in local church
ministry for almost 25 years. They’ve served churches in Indiana,
Ohio, Oklahoma, and Arizona. Matt and Robin met in college, at
Anderson University (Indiana). They love desert living with their
three boys: Connor (2001), Calvin (2004), and Charlie (2010).
Together, Matt and Robin love traveling to new places, exploring
great restaurants, and long walks. Matt loves being outside -
hiking, running, and golf. He’s a fan of college sports (War
Eagle!) and all things SEC even though they live in the southwest.
Matt and Robin love being a part of the local church and God’s
mission to redeem and restore all people through the love of
Dallas dadAWESOME Meet-Up
Join us at 7:30pm on Thursday, January 27th for the Dallas Area
- 2:35 - Andy Stanley Quote: "Relationships are built on small,
consistent deposits of time. You can't cram for what's most
important. If you want to connect with your kids, you've got to be
available consistently, not randomly"
- 3:18 - When it comes to parenting, you can't get near the end
and just cram a bunch in and hope that it sticks. It's more about
the long game... these little investments of time over time,
which will pay off in the long haul."
- 4:02 - ... "his goal of parenting and what they kept in their
minds was they wanted their kids to come home after they left home.
They wanted their kids to have a relationship with them that they
could invest over the long haul.
- 5:36 - "We would go away some summers for three weeks and no
distractions out of town. So we're not here where work is calling
and the different things are calling. And it was this summer rhythm
that our kids grew to love and we grew to love because, I mean,
uninterrupted, two to three weeks with your family in a place away
from home, away from the normal, I would say that's one of the
things I've been most thankful for..."
- 7:45 - Story of Matt's dad and his grandfather
- 9:34 - "I grew up without a grandfather on that side, and my
dad never knew really the approval of his father that all of us
need. I think we all need to know that our our fathers look at us
and say, I approve of you. You know, I'm I'm proud of you. I love
you. And so my dad intentionally because he didn't get that, did
that with us. He he continually. We never we never doubted that our
parents loved us."
- 11:35 - "I think we all grew up in an environment. We all grew
up with a certain perspective. And if we're not intentional, we
just repeat so many rhythms of our past, including the painful
pieces that can can really hurt kids over time"
- 12:02 - Story of when Matt's parents divorced
- 13:33 - "For Robin and I, I think we've really said we're going
to choose our family. You know, we we choose each other even in the
difficult moments. Like I said, her and I are opposites, so we we
see things very differently. Our perspective on parenting many
times is very, very different. But we remind ourselves we're on the
same team. At the end of the day, we've we've chosen each other and
we're going to continue to choose each other and we're going to
choose our family over just about everything else because we
believe this is how God will be honored in our lives, in our kids
lives. And so we just choose it. We make a decision to choose our
- 15:32 - "The the way that I was parenting my oldest was
destroying our relationship mine and his relationship. And I
remember sitting down as a hard conversation. I remember Robin
saying to me, You're you're you're going to to ruin your
relationship long term with Connor if you don't change some
- 16:06 - "Robin and I made a conscious decision to, in a sense,
switch roles that was early high school with him, late middle
school, early high school. I step back for more the authoritarian
type role, and she stepped into that role and I stepped more into a
relational role with him through that season."
- 17:11 - "I was the one always on him about homework, about
tests that were coming up, even about sports, you know, practicing
and all of those things. And I intentionally stepped back,
disengaged from much of the homework discussion, much of the test
discussion, not all of it. Like, I didn't become a hands off dad,
but I step back, let her step into that role and I step more into
the encouraging, just supportive. Anything I can help you with kind
of a role.
- 18:35 - "my number one thing that I would coach on is what you
are modeling is what they're going to repeat..."
- 21:29 - "kids need to see their dad's emotions. The
gentle emotions that the the emotions of pain they need to see
their dads cry at times and not in a in a fake way, but they need
to see that we're emotional people."
- 23:59 - Normalizing conversation
- Message from Matt
and Robin on Parenting
- 27:10 - You know, when's the right time? And we felt like in
that fourth to fifth grade age range and in the sixth grade, they
were going to start hearing plenty on intimacy and sex and all of
that. And so we wanted to try to get on the front end of the
- 28:34 - "that's really our responsibility as we get to
introduce our kids to God and the way that we parent. We're saying
a lot. We're teaching our kids a lot about who their Heavenly
- 29:01 - "Just be intentional. Don't just go
with the flow. And Paul says this in Romans don't just go go with
the flow of culture, because if you go with the flow of culture,
you're going to end up in a broken place. So be intentional. Let
God, you know, change you by transforming, by changing the way that
you think. So be intentional. Open your mind to God's spirit. Be
intentional in your parenting"
- 29:46 - "Just don't quit like it. The stakes are too high.
Don't give up yet. Like, keep parenting, stay engaged. Parenting
changes. You've got to change the way you parent when they get in
middle school and high school. But don't don't quit parenting.
Don't try to be a friend too early. The friendship will come later,
which I'm finding is true as the kids get into. As my oldest is in
college, we have this different kind of relationship that's more of
a friendship, and I still get to mentor and parent in some ways,
but it's so beautiful to see. Don't start too early. Like, stay in
- 30:28 - Matt's Prayer