Oct 14, 2021
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Tim Olson is an author, teacher, Principal. Pastor, and life
coach with forays into audio publishing, radio hosting, and home
remodeling. His understanding of father-child relationships was
fostered through years of observation and application in education,
coaching clients around the world, and working with the National
Fathering Ministry in Minnesota and Ukraine.
As a business life coach, it was through coaching family
business owners that the significant connections between a father
and his children (or with his own father) finally gelled into
observable patterns that helped form the basis for his coaching and
for his book, The Legacy of Absence. Through it all, he's found his
way to helping others to discover who they are meant to be and to
become that person.
He and his wife, Kay, have been married for 54 years and are
blessed with three children, six grandchildren, four bonus
grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren. They make their home
in New Hope, MN.
UPCOMING FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS 100 Mile Bike Rides
— NEW YORK, NY — October 16th, 2021
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Register Here: https://f4f.bike/
a DONATION to FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS
LINKS to the images: https://dadawesome.org/195/
- 2:49 - "You can be present
physically and not present emotionally, spiritually and
intellectually. And you know, that's actually even worse."
Sharing statistics on risk of pathological behavior in
- 6:05 - Story from Ukraine of two fathers that
work out of the home - one is absent, and one is still intentional
even though not physically close - and the stark difference in the
success of the kids
- 9:06 - Working with inmates, what
do they wish they had from their dads?
- 10:48 - "We've realized that death is
not as bad for kids as being abandoned and just just a dad who's
overworking is abandonment. We all abandoned our kids. And every
kid, every person has been abandoned to some extent, some so little
you don't even recognize it. And we don't realize that that's what
it is. We just remember the not being chosen part."
- 11:34 - Describing the reconciliation
- 14:21 - "[Dad's role is] to prepare us
to face the world on our own. And so he does that primarily by
teaching us four things and developing them in us. And those four
things are: self-esteem, confidence, maturity and identity. And
identity is perhaps the most important because that describes who
we are and whose we are.... These are perhaps the most important
words that a father can say, I believe: 'You are mine. You belong
to me. I love you.' That's identity."
- 17:17 - "How we deal with the
hurt and wounds of our own father's failures, determines our
ability to be good fathers and mothers, you know, to our own
- 17:38 - Quoting Richard Rohr - "If we do not
transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit
- 17:56 - In Louis Meade's book, he
says to forgive is to set the prisoner free and then discover that
the prisoner was me."
- 26:27 - 4 Things he shared with his kids:
- 26:32 - "I know that things happened in our
relationship that hurt you. I said things and did things that hurt
you. Even now, I didn't even know it. And I want you to know that I
would never do anything like that on purpose intentionally, but I
know it happened. And so I want to ask you to please forgive me for
- 27:35 - "I am no longer your parent and
you are no longer my child. Well, that sounds pretty offensive at
first. I said instead, from now on, I am just your father and you
are just my son."
- 29:27 - "It would please me more than anything
to continue to be able to speak into your life."
- 30:15 - "No matter what you do, with your
decisions and with your life, good or bad, it will never change how
much I love you. That will never change."
- 33:01 - Quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the
things that matter."