Dec 24, 2020
We’re on a mission to add LIFE to the dad life. We’re passionate
about helping dads live fully alive as they lead their kids to
God’s awesomeness. | YouTube | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Ted Lowe is an author, speaker, and the director of
MarriedPeople—the marriage division at Orange. Ted is the author of
two books—one for marriage ministry leaders (Married People: How
Your Church Can Build Marriages That Last) and one for married
couples (Your Best US: Marriage Is Easier Than You Think). He
served for almost 10 years as the director of MarriedLife at North
Point Community Church. He lives near Atlanta, Georgia, with his
four favorite people: his wife, Nancie, and their three
- 2:35 - “It’s about going after more moments of awesome and
fewer moments of awful.”
- 3:30 - Moving from fewer moments of awful to more moments of
awesome in marriage.
- 4:00 - Marriage is made up of micro-moves. “We can choose to
have awesome moments and they’re not as big as we think.”
- 5:08 - What his dad did right
- 5:12 - On losing his mom at age 10
- 6:20 - How losing his mom has impacted how he has raised his
- 10:00 - A dad fail moment
- 11:40 - James 1:9 “Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow
to become angry.”
- 12:30 - “What they’ve found in neuroscience is that you need
eight seconds once you’re triggered for your frontal cortex to kick
- 13:25 - Take time when everyone is calm to coach our kids
- 15:00 - Nurture vs Nature
- 15:30 - "Kids come into the world fully baked. God has created
them and it becomes our job as parents to steward that"
- 17:48 - "When we look at our kids, you can take the pressure
off yourself dads of thinking that you are in more control than you
are... Give yourself some freedom that you just have to guide who
- 18:24 - Analogy from Pastor Levi Lusko about being an
- 19:35 - How to be intentional with finding and stewarding
mentorship. Sharing wisdom from Doug and Kathy Fields.
- 20:40 - Telling his kids, “It’s ok to be shy, but it’s not ok
to be rude.”
- 22:45 - It’s important to find those couples who are
down-the-road for mentorship, but be careful not to compare your
family to theirs because God created your family uniquely.
- 25:00 - How to invite feedback from mentor friends.
- 26:00 - Quote from Dr. Sue Johnson - “We’re trying to get
emotionally from a couple people what we used to get from a whole
- 26:10 - Their story of adoption
- 28:09 - Comparing a family to a baby mobile - “it doesn’t
matter if it’s healthy or not, it starts getting in a rhythm. And
when you add something to the mobile, whether it’s good or bad, it
gets the mobile off.”
- 29:40 - The four core habits in his marriage book.
- Your Best Us: Marriage Is
Easier Than You Think
- 30:30 - Biblical marriage is more about how God wants us to
love each other, not necessarily from examples of marriage in the
- 35:07 - “Marriage is not about the big day, it’s about the
- 36:15 - “It always takes two to keep a negative cycle going,
but sometimes one can stop it.”
- 37:05 - “People don’t have bad hearts they have bad habits. And
habits we can change.”
- 37:20 - His wife said, "I don't need you to FIX this. I need
you to FEEL this"
- 36:23 - Final marriage tips:
- 38:44 - Sharing how his wife asked him not to talk to her like
a man, talk to her like a woman.
- Colossians 3:19 - "Husbands, love your wives and don't be harsh
- 39:15 - Stop patterns that frustrate her and stop allowing
small things to frustrate you.
- 39:45 - Make moments you enjoy. What would make her so happy
- 40:00 - When asking her, “How can I love you more?” Then when
she answers, say, “thanks for letting me know.”
- 41:30 - Keep trying to win her heart... She's asking every day;
"Will he still choose me?"
- 42:40 - Tips for becoming a more awesome dad. “Get on the same
page as far about what you feel like you want to do with the kids.
Because they will play you like a fiddle…kids need to know that